In one of my earlier posts I said I wanted to write about a “pattern”, for lack of a better word, I noticed in people.
That was nearly a month ago. Fast forward four weeks, two days and a few hours later, and I discovered that there’s more to it than I care to admit.
I feel I need to write a book on these newly discovered personality types to be a reference source for the general public, out of a sense of moral obligation, you know? But, considering the fact that I have anger management issues I’d rather not take that risk. So we’ll have to settle with a roughly 800 word article, although even writing this much makes me want to screw up a lot of pretty faces (not to be taken literally).
The pretty faces. I mean.
It’s no secret that human beings are born innocent. But we’re obviously suppossed to grow more wise with time right? The whole purpose behind “adulting” (boy do I hate that word 😑) or growing up is to teach us responsibility and wisdom. What amazes me, though, is that sometimes adults, fully developed mature human beings, who are expected to take FULL responsibility of their actions forget who or rather what they are.
They act like animals. They act like aliens. They act like everything that is not human.
I don’t think it would even be fair to compare them to animals or aliens. These people are a different species all together.
They Are Called Toxic For A Reason
All of us have, at some point in our lives, exerienced hate, hostility, betrayal, manipulation, and in extreme cases emotional and verbal abuse.
(A minute of silence for all the times we oh-so-generously took shit from people.)
So who are these infamous people and how do we identify them? The answer to that question is simple. It’s written all over their faces.
On a serious note they often wear masks which makes it quite difficult to see through their facades. But an educated guess would be that they are every person that gives you shit, treats you like shit, and doesn’t give a shit about you or the things that matter to you.
Not exactly sure what rock I was hiding under all these years but damn it does feel good to finally come out from under it! I admit the view is not all that pretty but guess we just gotta suck it up for now.
Let me describe it to you.
Fresh breeze from the sea, waves crashing on smooth, golden sand, water glistening like diamonds under the bright sun, as you feel the warmth of its rays on your skin…. Okay I’m kidding. That’s one effing beautiful view. Just wanted to lighten up the mood a lil. 😄 And I miss the beach. 💔
Coming back to toxic people, it’s very possible that they move heaven and earth to try and hide their true (evil) intentions from you but you should always remember that you know yourself best and how you feel. Period. Because that one sentence says a lot. If someone makes you feel like shit then you should know that that person has a negative impact on you.
It’s also very possible that they try everything to talk you into believing that, 1. the fault is in you, 2. you are the sole reason your life is miserable, 3. they only want you to be happy and, 4. they know what’s best for you.
Surely criticizing someone, picking faults in them, degrading and insulting them basically injecting them with a shitload of negativity day in and day out isn’t because “they want you to be happy ” or is it?
And it’s also extremely possible that they hate you openly. Because why not? Seriously screw them.
So do you still go and shake hands with such people? Shit, no. You grab their hand, twist their arm back and kick them the eff out of your life.
I’m kidding. Don’t do that ever. Well, because…
We Need to Get Back Up and Get Moving
I said moving, not moping.
The first step in moving on in life is to get back up after someone knocks you down. Sitting on the floor crying and moping around is not going to help at all.
I said moping, not mopping. Leave that to the mop.
I said mop, not mob.
Alright I get it I need to stop with the lame jokes. We’ve almost reached the end of the post anyway
So yeah, (lame) jokes apart, getting back up is the first step.
When the only thing people want to do is hurt us one way or another or repeatedly break our trust, we may feel angry, frustrated and lost but eventually we do manage to get over them. We have our own ways of dealing with and getting over such people and the crap they come with. That’s the beauty of human nature, and life in general, it goes on. .
Sadly though, yet another reality of life is that impressions last, whether we like to admit it or not, human beings tend to judge a lot of things based on firsthand experience.. Instances of hurt, heartbreak, breaking of trust, criticism get forever etched in our minds. We carry with us bitter memories from the past and somehow that does affect our personalities and how we decide to lead the rest of our lives. It sucks. I know.
It’s like once you get hurt you are scared to get attached again because you fear every person is going to break your heart. And this is what’s most disturbing, the fact that heartbreak can change a person from being the happiest person in the world to someone who forgets how to be happy altogether. Change can be scary sometimes.
So how do we get out of this downward spiral of misery?
Forgiveness is The Attribute Of The Strong
Yes, you got that right. Through forgiveness.
Allah سبحانه و تعالى (may He be glorified and exalted) Says:
“The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof; but whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allah. Verily, He likes not the Zaalimoon (oppressors, polytheists, and wrongdoers)” [42:40].
Wanted to keep this blog sorta casual and informal so won’t be including the technical Fiqh aspects of the topic here. But would definitely love to discuss it in another post insha’Allah. 😊
So for now it’ll suffice to say that although it is permissible for a person who has been reviled to revile the person who reviled him back only as much as he reviled him, without transgressing or overstepping the mark, it is far better and closer to perfection to forgive, pardon and overlook, in the hope that Allah will pardon him on the Day of Resurrection.
Remember me in your duas