Blank Pages


Blank pages have always intimidated me,
My thoughts inhabit a space that defies gravity
Incomplete phrases and broken clauses,
scrambling around in a frenzy,
desperately trying to grasp onto “meanings”
frantically searching for answers,
kicking and banging
turning everything upside down.

Incomplete phrases and broken clauses
plunging into the darkest depths of the mind
in vain attempts to dig up intrusive thoughts
like weeds in a rose bed,
only the mind isn’t a bed of roses
and thoughts prick like stubborn thorns.

Incomplete phrases and broken clauses,
too afraid to look themselves in the eye,
for fear of having to confront reality.
doubting, second guessing,
almost self-destructing,
in the process.

Incomplete phrases and broken clauses
unable to stand ground,
sucked into the insatiable jaws
of a black hole,
the insides of which are filled with
negativity, darkness, and voids.

Voids that only grow larger and larger,
darkness that doesn’t let any light in,
negativity that gets deep-rooted with time.
A gravitational pull so strong,
it bends sentences and twists words
and sometimes suffocates them,
And I keep staring at blank page after blank page after blank page,
Unable to string together words,
And that’s why blank pages have always intimidated me.

Incomplete phrases and broken clauses
Empty spaces and deserted hallways,
Hollow hearts and moonless nights,
And no stars to guide,
It’s not the dark I’m afraid of,
I don’t mind the dark,
It’s the emptiness, the uncertainty
the feeling of not knowing,
of being clueless,
Lost, I’m afraid of being lost.

***

Whoever invented doodling sure didn’t do it aimlessly.

Because what would happen to blank pages if people didn’t know what to write?

Yes! They’d doodle. 😎

That’s exactly what I do whenever I have a paper and pen in my hand. Weirdly enough, it helps me clear my mind, no idea how.

Anyway I wanted to share about a pattern I noticed in people recently. It’s quite interesting, wonder why I never saw it before…But that’s for another post. 😜 Insha’Allah. So look out for it! 😊

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2 thoughts on “Blank Pages

  1. Blank pages have always intimidated me too! In the same ways!
    And that last bit…. I can relate so well!
    But above all, it’s been AGES since you were here! So glad to see you again. Will definitely look forward to that post! Sounds so interesting!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah it really has been a long time. I’m glad to be back. Alhumdulillah! 😊
      Thank you for being so incredibly kind and encouraging as always! Jazak Allahu khairan! 💖

      Liked by 1 person

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