What’s Next, Nafsi?


You reek of sin,
a bloody stench capable of
making one nauseous;
sometimes, even me,
but its effect doesn’t last long
as I’m always quick to forget,
having learned to skillfully
mask it by the impalpable perfume
of your unfair justifications,
in the vain hope that it will
not just cover up but eliminate
the deep guilt I feel inside;
but, it only intoxicates you further.
I can see evil obvious in my eyes
that shine brightly
in your growing darkness.
The superficial look of innocence
on my face is in sinister contrast
to your undisguised ugly thoughts.
I am aware of the grotesque reality
of your transgressions
that weigh heavily on my chest,
forming dark spots on my heart.
Every sin like a cut on my wrist,
Slicing through my skin,
deep enough to peirce you.
It shakes us from within,
messes up our system,
But we smile through the pain,
Like we ain’t feelin nothin.
Shame is the medicine
we traded in for sin, our drug.
I wonder what’s next..
What’s next, nafsi?

* * *

Nafs is the Arabic word for soul, nafsi translates to “my soul”.

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18 Comments

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  1. Wow! This poem feels so real. Awesome imagery mashaAllah. You should get yojr work published, inshaAllah. πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜πŸ˜™β€πŸ‘

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Salaam! Wow amazing words – but then again you’ve always had a knack for writing really well haven’t you?
    Although I don’t really blog anymore I was going through old comments and I came across a comment from you that I never even saw – I felt so bad! I don’t know why I never got the notification for it – considering you and tam had a whole conversation right there in the comments! There were all these other comments I didn’t get a notification for either and I felt so bad that I could never reply because I didn’t even know they were there!
    I hope you’re doing great, and everything is fine πŸ™‚ I just couldn’t believe I had missed your comments of all people I had to come here although this was ages ago and you probably don’t even remember haha!

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    • Revels! Wa’alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu! It’s so good to hear from you after such a looong time siiisss!! Where have you been?? I’m sorry it took me so long to reply tho, the past couple of days have been quite hectic. But Alhumdulillah I’m doing good by Allah’s Grace, hope things are going well for you too. Ohh and no need to apologize, it’s totally ok! And I do remember that particular poem of yours, it was beautifully expressed and more importantly a much needed reminder masha’Allah! Why haven’t you been blogging much lately though?
      Love & duas 😊❀

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      • I’m good I’m good alhamdulillah – I’m glad you’re not too annoyed at the comment thing haha!
        Erm I kinda don’t blog anymore – I don’t know why. I just felt like it didn’t represent me the way I am now if you get me? So I thought I just couldn’t. So I stopped. I occasionally come over to check out everybody else tho – but it’s becoming lesser than before. Just going through a phase, got lots of questions and not enough answers ha.
        Kher, how have you been? I’ve been speaking of myself haha. You seem to still be writing away ma Sha Allah!!
        ❀❀

        Liked by 1 person

        • Nah not really, the last time I wrote something for the blog was like three months ago 😳
          If it’s not too personal what kind of questions? You can talk about it if you want.
          I mean I’m kinda confused right now, because the revels I got to know here was someone who loved to write, was opinionated and had a passion for sharing her views with the world. I could never have guessed that you’d stop writing. I really do hope that its just a break you need and that you will get back to writing really soon InshaAllah πŸ™‚

          But again if there’s anything you want to talk about I’m here insha’Allah ❀

          Liked by 1 person

  3. May Allah guide us all.Ameen

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Constant duality between روح and نفس

    Liked by 1 person

  5. found you from following my blog! yoo Assalamu Alaikum Yusra!! My name is yusra tooo!!! πŸ˜€
    i love your poem! i’m so glad you found me ❀

    Liked by 1 person

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