I see in front of me
A vulnerable girl
Afraid of letting people into her life
Putting her guard down
Questions clouding her mind,
Answers she desperately seeks
Her eyes a pool of confusion
Tears unsure of their existence and purpose
She feels nothing, absolutely nothing,
Yet they flow.
Living, trying to survive
In a world infected with hypocrisy and hatred
That destroyed her innocence and virtue
Ripped away love and hope from her heart.
She puts on a facade
Walling in her sensitivity with bricks of cynicism
Concealing her positivity with a veil of skepticism
Refusing to acknowledge her fears
She wants to let go
Wants to be able to trust again
Without the constant fear of being let down
But she doesn’t know, she’s unsure
She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, counts till ten
And that’s all it takes to change into the person
She’s getting used to being
Cold, cynical, unfeeling.
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu!
It’s been a reaaaally long time and I know that normally I would apologize for my absence, explain why I went MIA, make promises to be consistent blah blah blah… but guess what? This time I’m not gonna do any of that. The reason behind that is very simple. Or maybe it’s a lil complicated. I mean it’s pretty clear in my head but it might seem somewhat complicated to your minds cause that’s what usually happens right? At least that’s how it is with me. Like all the time. But hopefully things will change someday insha’Allah…buuut anywayyy why am I even talking about that? Let’s focus on today’s post.
Ok. So I wrote this poem sometime ago…and as you can see it’s very gloomy, sad and depressing, crushing all hope, or possibility of there being any hope. Your guess might be that I wrote it to vent out my frustrations or whatever. And maybe that’s correct to a certain extent. But not entirely correct. To tell you the truth I really don’t know why I wrote this, and what was going through my mind when I wrote it.
The thing is, I feel that lately almost everything that I’m writing is leaning more towards negativity (I don’t mean for the blog, just what I write usually)…And I absolutely hate it. I want to write something uplifting, something that would make me or anyone who reads it smile or make them feel better and give them hope. I mean life is so short. I really think it’s pointless to dwell on sad and negative thoughts. I mean, seriously, what’s the point? I know it helps vent feelings, make sense of situations and understand ourselves better and stuff. But I’m sure that CAN also be done without being negative or having a negative outlook. Right?
Sometimes it’s good to be completely honest with yourself. And not give yourself false hopes or anything. I totally agree with that. But that does not necessarily mean that you must substitute negativity for positivity, or pessimism for optimism, or hate for love, or cynicism for trust.
Never let go of hope. That’s the bottom line. No matter how broken you are, or having a hard time, struggling to just be happy or get what you want in life… Just remember that nothing great ever came that easy (it’s a quote I read somewhere). So stay positive! 😊✌
~ إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ ~
“…Indeed, Allah is with the patient.”
(Surah Al Baqarah 2:153)
Remember me in your duas. ❤